Go-to-Peru-and-get-High Tours. 5 ways to get wasted in Peru

Too much HASH!

All this talk about hashtags got Tim Ryan interested. I had posted on my Facebook the following:

Updated “Twitter for birder – rare bird alerts with hashtags and RSS. UK already have a system up! http://bit.ly/X7QG

Timothy Ryan at 3:40pm March 12
I don’t understand – you live in the land of coca leaves and yet your are always waxing poetic about hash. Do you chew it too? I am a novice at all these things but I really want to try ayahuasca. Will you ever be posting about Ayahuasca or are you loyal to hash?
I like birding with hash tags. It is a lot of fun. But how can you focus the binoculars?
Gunnar Engblom at 7:13pm March 12
Hahaha! Wanna come on a: Come-to-Peru-and-get-high-tour?
There are plenty of those around. We give you Jungle Gringo Shaman Johnny -an expat junkie gone wild – as your special local guide. Johnny has learnt all the ancestral secrets of a top native Shaman during the last 4 years and now has unique knowledge to prepare the “trip” of your life time.

You shall recieve the following high-lights.

  • Your first high is a bonus at no extra charge as you start from Plaza de Armas in Cusco at 3400m (+10000 ft) walking up the steep stairs to your hotel in the idyllic San Blas district 100m above overlooking the square. It is not the thin air that makes you dizzy, it is being close to Heaven.
  • In the evening, three strong Pisco Sours at the Cross Keys pub will get your head spinning .
  • If drinking Coca tea or chewing the leaves does not do it for you, Johnny will take you to Cusco’s back streets where there is no problem obtaining some in powdered form. Peru is proudly one of the worlds largest provider of the stuff. But the Peruvians themselves prefer the meek coca-tea or chewing the leaves. Tradition they say. They don’t get it.
  • Down in the Amazon, you shall strip naked and participate in a mind blowing Ayahuaska ritual getting you hallucinating encounters with your God or your Demons…or maybe both, and we promise you that if this stuff does not make you insane for the rest of your life you will get your money back.
  • Back in Lima you shall be prepared for a San Pedro Cactus ritual. Incredibly, this drug just grows there in the wild. And it is powerful, man! The Nazcans used it when they cracked their skulls to let out the evil spirits. If you get truly wasted, you may try some brain-cracking with Johnny.

Sign up today. Special price for you my friend!

Timothy Ryan at 7:59pm March 12
Fantastic – sign me up!
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UPDATE: Some readers did not understand that this was a joke, so I better state a few serious opinions. In fact, I have taken a stand against selling Peru as a country where ethnic drugs are put totally out of context as a tourist attraction. Please see the post on Amarakaeri communal reserve and the project we have commenced to turn four community lodges to prime birdwatching lodges to see what I mean.
What I think that those Peruvians selling the Ayahuaska ritual don’t realize is that there is liability involved, that makes it very risky involving tourists as active participants in the rituals. Ironically, there are loads of “Jungle Gringo Johnnies” in Peru, selling themselves as the real thing! Do you think you could get away with organizing such a ritual in the US where the participants take hallucinogenic drugs? Would it be legal? Why should this be OK in Peru and when it is not OK in the US? Here is a National Geographic article that describes the strong effects and potential dangers of Ayawaska – read between the lines to understand what sort of liability a tour operator that set this up is in for.
Furthermore, Peru is a modern country in most aspects and drugs are generally not accepted. Cocaine is not a problem in Peru. The problem is the consumers elsewhere and that its production in Peru is related to terrorist organizations as the Shining Path and the Mexican drug cartels. Therefore  there is a constant war against cocaine production and its trade. There are severe punishment against those involved in drug trade.
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